So much going on!

So, I guess I might be going to the Philippines this summer with Jacob! Yeah it's hella random too. It's fucking me over how I have to let them know by tomorrow since they're already booking their shit soon. Ugh, I want to go though because it'll be something different. The last time I went to the Philippines? Fuuck, like what 2 to 3 years ago? This time if I do go, i'll be with a friend. That's something hella different. It'll be a mission though, staying with his family and shit. It sucks Aaron can't come though. It's cool that my parents are willing to get a plane ticket for me though, hilarious. It's ridiculous. If I go, i'll be hella MIA from July 25th until the 11th of August. Eh, not bad haha. I just keep of thinking of things that I would be doing if I chose to stay here. Eh I hate how this shit is short notice though, I wish I had at least a week to think about this. I'm getting pretty excited about it though, that shit would be an adventure! Aha, plus i'll get the fuck out of here for a while and just go somewhere hella far. I'll probably get home sick though...

Apart from that typa' stuff i've been having a crazy Sunday. I just want summer to come already! I always feel so cut off during weekends. To be honest though, I had a really good weekend for once. Apart from Friday, i'm not gonna lie, it was hella good. I guess maybe i'm just saying that because I met you this weekend. It's fucking crazy how happy and shit i've been feeling the past 24 hours or so. Eh, I haven't felt this kind of rush in a long ass time. Maybe it's just me meeting a new person, girl. I don't know. The reality of certain things are hitting me now haha. Thank goodness I didn't let myself fall. I mean shit, I did give it a shit load of hype today but that's it. Nothing else. I'm not really looking for something even though they do and they want me to make something happen and as much as I love it, I really don't know. It's too fast to jump into conclusions and stuff right now. I take pride that I was mentioned by Darren to you earlier and how he's jealous of me. Fucking hilarious, ironic too! Who knows what'll happen though, we'll see. I just need to stop this feeling though. It feels great and all because really, it distracts me from a shit load of things. But i'm afraid I may become addicted to it and it'll be taken away from me oh so easily, and i'm not down for the hurting process again. Unless things start to change which I hella doubt, I need to cut this shit off.

It's fucking hilarious how I woke up and I check your shit to see that you want to apologize to me. Really, if you still wanna be my friend go for it. As much as I wanna beat the shit out of you, i'm not gonna stop you. The most I want is the self respect. If you want to be friend's you're gonna have to grow some balls and go out of your way to try and "apologize" to me. Just because you know that I don't want any part of you in my life anymore doesn't mean i'm stopping you from doing something like that. I mean shit, I feel the same way at times but that was some fucked up shit you did. I still can't get over it. I will seriously laugh my ass off though if one of the reasons you're hesitant to talk to me in person is because you're scared of me. HA, scared of me? HAHAHA, man that's funny. Grow some balls if you are though. As much as you know me reading your shit and you probably read mine too, i'm not giving in to apologize to you. The way I see it, you've had most of your shit go your way, entirely or half way at the least while i've had nothing since then. So fuck you. If you want to apologize, try me. Let's see how much you can test yourself.

I've lagged this since 11, and I have Spanish homework to do and shit. Ugh, fuck! I'm so tired. Fuck my life, I hate this shit so much. I wish the teacher just didn't give us any homework at all during the few weeks of testing. This shit is retarded. I have a late start though so it's not that bad. I have a 59% in Chemistry? Or some shit, I don't know. That's like 10 percent or so I have to try and boost. I think I can do it though, if I do that then fuck yeah.

I haven't been talking to you good, in forever. It hurts me because every time I give you a shitty conversation I always start imagining you just sitting there, looking so clueless and concerned and shit. It fucking depresses me. I'm fucking horrible. I don't know what i'm doing either, i'm sorry. I just need to get this shit out of my head again. I do feel bad though. I hope I can make it up to you tomorrow or something.

This has been a bomb weekend. What a way to rebound from Friday.

I have a lot more to say but i'll put the period on this blog for tonight.

I never seem to be finished with any of these.

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For the love of God, I just had to edit this because I just got so fucking irritated right now. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? THEY ARE FUCKING RITORICAL QUESTIONS. FUCK YEAH I SPELLED THAT SHIT THAT WAY BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I WANT TO FUCKING SPELL IT. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF IT'S SPELLED "RHETORICAL" SHIT. I'm trying to make a conversation to flow here and the fuck you have to go and answer every single "rhetorical" question. I wasn't asking you to fucking answer them! The fuck, maybe i'm just tired and fucking flipping out over nothing. But fuck this shit is fucking irritating the shit out of me. I'm trying to talk, and the fuck is up with this shit. It's fucking annoying. Fucking freshmans. Fuck. Seriously, some girls are just bitches lately. It's not even the guys that do most of the shit anymore, and they're the ones fucking complaining why we do shit. We're only responding back to the type of shit some of you make us go through.

One guy can't stay quiet and nice for long, eventually that nigga is gonna break.

I fucking hate nights when you're just a bitch, like really the fuck is up with you sometimes?

Thank God, no one reads this shit.