The fuck is up with this shit.

If you guys don't like me the way I am lately, get the fuck out of my life then. I can care less. I'm not always gonna be passive and shit.

I fucking love being angry at certain times, all of this shit just get lifted off of me.

I'll edit this later.

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Alright i'm back. I am honestly lazy to add more to what I said earlier, so I think that's more than enough about that... There's nothing more I can say to be hella specific about it so whatever. I'm seriously in the I don't give a fuck mood now, and the people I need and want to be part of my life right now are still here. Hopefully they stay there too. As long as I have them, I can really care less about the others who don't deserve my fucking time and effort.

So today we actually talked about it. I guess it was right timing you popped the question too because I just woke up from my long ass nap. Being groggy I felt incredibly numb for a good hour, so whatever response I gave you, I never flinched. I'm not mad at you, i'm mad at myself. I made everything as clear as I can be with you at the time. I hope you appreciate that I cut all the bullshit this time, I was just straight forward. I appreciate that this time, I didn't get the usual reponses from you either whenever we have these kind of talks. You didn't do anything wrong, and i'm not blaming you. I'm blaming myself for whatever the hell i'm doing. It really sucks when, that is the case every time you get off. It fucking hurts me because Michelle Tran told me today you're always so concerned about me and I never cooperate with you. To my own best friend. I'm so fucked up aren't I. I think i'm just being selfish about everything because what I am feeling and i'm not thinking about the things and people that matter, the people that really care. I'm pushing the one girl that means the world to me because of something so fucking stupid. I really need to get over this jealousy shit with you. I know i'm well over it, but I don't know why I feel jealous. We don't know what to do, so we're just going to try and work our lives around it. I feel like today was unfinished. It really is, maybe tomorrow we can try to put more work into what we already started today. It's nothing serious, I just want to fix myself before I start to hurt you even more. It already kills me inside that i'm hurting you by the way i've been treating you lately. I'm sorry. Seriously, I love you and I should end the stupidity i'm creating. It's a waste of time, it's pointless. It's selfish.

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Thank God I got most of my thoughts out on the important things before I got hella distracted by my phone. Fuck my life so much. My iPhone's home button won't fucking work! Ugh, I have to take it back to Apple now. Thank God everything is still working fine with it. It's just annoying how I have to turn off the phone every time I want to do something different on the phone (texting, music, calling, etc.). It's annoying as hell! Ugh, i'm using my mom's old T-Mobile phone with my old T-Mobile number. This shit is wack as hell haha. Oh well, i'm gonna use my iPhone as an iPod tomorrow or something. This is gay as fuck. All the shit that happens to my stuff always happens at night. Ugh, bad way to end the day.

This totally distracted me from EVERYTHING. Fuck, I have CSTs tomorrow but i'm not stressing! It's English! Bring that shit on. Haha, I can't believe i'm getting hyped over a test. I'm weird as fuck. Damn. I'm going to be starving tomorrow too, kill my life.

And you, I don't know haha. The farthest I see you now, is a really good friend. You know what's up though, i'm not gonna hold back on that. Maybe after a few more hangouts and stuff i'll see what goes on in my head about you. But i'm kinda happy you're part of my life now haha.

And you, I swear. You are a fucking bitch. You get me so heated at times. Fucking alksjdfalf. Ugh, done.

I forgot what else I have to say, oh well. Goodnight.