Maybe i'm just trippin' out right now.

I'll come back to this later, but I can say i'm honestly enjoying this right now.

-

Okay, i'm home now. I just met someone a few hours ago, and she's someone different. She really reminds me of you, but from just the way she looks. She's nothing like you at all, she's completely different. I'm not gonna fall for her to fast, but sadly to say, I think she's something. I don't know... when I saw her, I just went, "What the fuck?" Because she really reminded me of you, from the way she looks. It was just a big ass reminder, it was ridiculous. It drove me crazy. It's still driving me crazy.

She's someone different though. She kinda reminds me of you because of how aggressive she gets at times aha. She's an asshole at times, but I don't mind it. She can also get serious at times, and i'm surprised I got that side so quickly tonight. She didn't seem like the type to open up way to quickly at the first encounter but surprisingly she did. Maybe because it was late night and that's when all the thoughts are thought out and expressed, or maybe because I am just practically a stranger to her. I mean, don't some of us tell most if not all of our shit to people we hardly know but get along so quickly with? It's just how it is now in my opinion. I don't know, there's just something about you that attracts me for some odd reason. But in all honesty, I do like it. I don't remember getting this typa' feeling in a while, just that sudden rush of great interest. It's driving me crazy right now, my head is fucking spinning because it just totally pushed everything out of my head oh so quickly, in a matter of hours. I know it shouldn't be that way, I am now weak so I will try my best not to fucking fall.

I just can't believe that we managed to just get along. Everything just seemed to fit tonight, maybe you're just friendly... Yeah that's it, you're just friendly. I mean you are fucking outgoing being out this late. Don't think of her wrong by the way, since she's out so fucking late. No she's not like that. But you're just outgoing, to get back on topic. I bet you are like that to everyone else too. But the fact that I just told you everything from the past 4 months, the fact that you knew something of me from last year, the fact that you knew something from the 4 months from them, and the fact that it's just a small world. It's crazy how we just managed to I guess click or some shit. I have no fucking idea really. Maybe it's just me, it probably is. I'm just watching myself right now. The way you seemed an hour before we had that big ass talk, it just changed. The hour before you seemed so pre-cautious then the next you just hella opened up. I guess this is what I love when I meet new people, you just keep talking to get to know each other. I don't know it's just crazy. I met you as that typa' person but then I left the night also knowing you as that typa' person too. It was just everything in one night practically. I don't know, it's just different for some reason. I felt so awake with you. I bet if Jed wasn't tired and I didn't have to go home at some point, I bet we'd still be talking right now.

I just hate it how you're in the picture again. You. Why the fuck do you have to interfere with this type of shit all the time? It really irritates the fuck out of me. The fact that I know what she knows that she's getting herself into, ugh fuck. This is too fucked up, I don't want to be a part of another fucking triangle again. I don't have enough will power in me to put the effort or to make it through something like that. No. Whatever happens with that, whatever. I can care less right now... I just don't want any part of it at the moment.

Gah, this is fucking up everything in my head right now. It's bitter sweet. I just keep jinxing myself every time I say something to myself. Fuck. I had a feeling something would happen when I finally meet you though, it's just crazy how overwhelming everything is to me right now. No I haven't fallen for you or any typa' shit like that. That was the old me. You're still somewhat a stranger to me. I may have known stuff about you lately, stuff in your past and even though it came from you by the end of the night, I still don't know you and you don't know me. So I don't feel comfortable jumping to any type of conclusion. It's overwhelming attraction, is what is engulfing me entirely right now. It's driving me fucking nuts! I just have to tell someone later today or I will go crazy.

Again, I have a lot more to say about this but I keep getting distracted. I think this is the part where I have to tell someone the rest. Fuck. I have a feeling you're gonna keep me up. Oh well, that's fine.

I don't mind not asking for your number or aim. I can live with that aha. It'll be in due time for that shit anyways. I'm really not the type to go, "HEY LEMME GET YO NUMBAH!" No, i'm good. Nice to meet you though Ashley.

But apart from all of that, my day. I finally got out of this fucking house, and far away from all the shit here. Fuck you guys, I still have no respect for any of you right now.

The whole day was like the usual, chillin' with Jed. It's been a while we headed out during the day, it felt like last year again. Basically the entire day, we were just at Life like last year. I saw Michael and Kristine after not seeing those two for so long aha. I missed them. It was pretty chill. Remie was there too! The rest was just the usual of what me and Jed do during the night. We went to YES! Plaza to watch the Laker game, and to finish the Starbucks that we got. Then we headed to get dinner and wait for Matt to get home. Then I guess Jed decided to pick up Ashley haha. I met her from there and we just chilled at Matt's. We eventually left cause Matt was tired and we went to Denny's because Ashley was hungry. Started talking about stuff from there until the ride home. We still kept talking until we got to my drive way. I gave her a hug then I went inside. It was a semi-tight/long hug and she was like, "What a fail hug!" Aha, fuck me in the ass... alkadsf

This girl is way out of my league, like fuck aha. She's gonna step all over me. Sike, not really. Who knows...

It's almost 5 A.M. and I just got her AIM. Greaaat! I'm gonna be up until sunrise.

Goodmorning.

PS.
I'm just thankful for this weekend. It's totally rebounding me from the shitty time I had on Friday night.