What I look for in a girl.

I usually don't do these typa' things but Princess brought it up the other day and i've been thinking hard about it.

When I look at a girl, I try to imagine myself holding hands with her. Can I see myself walking around holding that girl's hand? I don't really look for the other things you do in a relationship such as imagining myself kissing her for example. I don't know, i'm just not like that haha. I look for the small things that couple's do.

Another thing I look for in a girl is something that's kinda hard for me to explain.

I know there's no such thing as perfect relationships and i'm not looking for one in the future either. Shit, I can't even have a perfect best friendship with her and we act like a couple half the time because of all the shit we've been through. There's bound to be bumps in any type of relationship, whether they'd be big to small.

When I look for a girl, I ask myself," Am I willing to go through all of that trouble for her?" I bet all of you ask this to your selves too. Am I willing to stay when shit is happening at it's worst? Am I going to be willing to put up with her either. These are probably common things everyone asks themselves when they look for their special someone in the future. But I think some people don't bother asking themselves these type of things and end up regretting half way.

I don't know it's just a thought. Because I always have someone on my mind but that's as far as I would take it. What stops me? Reality and the stuff above. Sometimes they fall right into the category but then something always comes in to take her away from me.

I'm really getting tired of liking girls and stuff because right when I get the courage to do something, another guy comes in and i'm just left unrecognized like always. That's how I feel everyday, unrecognized. I don't know whether to be mad at myself or just think of it as how things are. All I ever want is some attention and I never get any of it.

I get real sick whenever i'm with a girl and they just talk about some other guy. I feel like my ears are about to bleed sometimes. I don't know, I guess it's because I just get jealous.

A lot of things frustrated me during 5th period today, it was ridiculous. I basically went in those moods where i'm snappy as fuck. I was about to snap at Ms. Portillo because she kept giving me shit when i'm just sitting there doing my work. I get enough of that shit at home, so I don't need anymore from you bitch. But it wasn't her that made me snappy, it was just a lot of things that ran through my head. I don't know, I felt really frustrated and everything.

I took a long ass nap earlier because I thought it was just because i'm sleep deprived but I guess it was my fault for bringing that shit back because i'm blogging about it.

I'm losing my train of thought, but whoever is reading this probably gets it. But why should I care, I am basically talking to myself here. Ha, I love it.

I finished my homework and I plan on getting out the house to get my mind off of things.