I hate to admit it but,

I miss the goodmorning texts already. Oh well.

I'll be back later.

-

Yeah, I don't really care anymore. Haha, surprising how you texted today because I seriously thought you already forgot me. I guess I was all alone with this thing, I knew from the beginning I was gonna be all alone with it. At least I kept myself from getting too deep in my head about it though. Oh well.

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I hate the fact that you can't really give me any advice. It frustrates me. I gave you so much advice on things but why is it you can't give me any? I guess i'm trying to look at it as a mutual thing, I don't know. But being my best friend I would think you would have something to say about it, instead of just questioning me about it. I can ask those questions to myself if I want to. I felt like I was talking to myself when I brought that up with you. I know you try but am I expecting too much from you?

Now i'm frustrated and whenever I get frustrated with you, it's kinda hard to stop. I guess I can blame myself for everything.

I hate the fact that you're the only girl I practically talk to now. There's no one else, and I guess that's just how my life plays out. No other girl wants to talk to me anyways, I'm no one special. Just your average Joe. I'm pretty boring and there isn't much that's really interesting about me. I just love to put myself down.

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I hate it when people ask me what's homework and shit. At least put a greeting in it and be nice. I wake up and someone texts me at 9 in the morning to ask what homework was and I just go, "The fuck is this?" Like really, it would be nice if you said good morning at the least! Fuck, I feel like i'm always being used at times. You guys only come up like you know me and shit when you need something. I guess that's just how my world rolls.

-

I feel really frustrated right now, I guess my loneliness and shit is kicking into high gear again. It's fucking pathetic. I'm fucking pathetic. I can't even concentrate on a topic.

I hate whenever I feel this low. I feel like i'm asking for attention, I always am though. It just kind of sucks that no one really reads this because no one has any idea what goes through my head anymore. But at least I feel a lot more comfort into typing this kind of shit anyways.

I just remembered that tryouts are this week and i'm seriously not fucking ready right now. Fuck, I have 2 more years in High School and my hopes on this shit is just coming to an end. Fuck my life, I wish I was more talented. I wish I was a lot of things, small things that most guys are. Not gay at all but you get the point.

Why the fuck do I feel so down?